Powerful with a Purpose

Here I am... 1:30 AM, unable to sleep... Back in September, I had a night just like this one. It was my first night away from home and I was afraid of what I had gotten myself into, moving to Saskatoon for university. Tonight, however, I am afraid of leaving all of this. My heart aches for all of the goodbyes that are sure to come in the following morning. But as I allow these tears to roll down my face, I take a moment to look back on the year. I look at where I am now and where I was in September. Flipping through my journal, I find one of the very first entries from here in Saskatoon...

"Who am I going to be? God, I have a choice. I live in a secular world now. How am I going to portray myself? More importantly, how will I portray you? I want to be a woman of God. A woman who shows the fruits of the spirit to everyone around her. I want to be the one who people see you in. But, I also feel the human need to be accepted and that is going to pull me onto the wide path. God, only you can transform. Only you can give the fruit of the spirit. Come and fill me God. I know that you have me here for a reason, you placed me at Sheps. So I need to trust that you will continue to open doors. To place people in my life with whom I can share your light. God, help me to be different, to stand up for what I know is right."(September 6, 2012)

I'm not perfect. I've screwed up this year, and I will be the first to admit that. I have no regrets though.This has been a year in which God uprooted me fully from every familiar thing and placed me in an alien setting. I have been a missionary, called to love those God has placed in my life. And let me tell you, I wouldn't trade it for the world. As I look back at that September 6th entry, I realize that God gave me everything I asked for. He delivered and I cannot complain in anyway about that. I have been so blessed, and as I leave this place for the next four months, I am sad but I know that God isn't done with me yet.

So here I am; Powerful with a Purpose. Lord, send me.