Passing Grade

With it being the end of a university semester, the majority of students have their minds focused on two main things; their marks and summer! I was blessed with the oppertunity to return to church for the first time in forever on Sunday, and of course, God was just waiting to reveal new things to me.
I like to say that I am a student that strives for excellence. Over the years I have worked to find a balance between excelling in school and excelling in friendships. But on Sunday, I was confronted with the fact that over the last 8 months, I have only been living life with a "passing grade." My spiritual life has consisted of doing what I saw as the bare minimum to achieve eternal life but I didn't realize that until yesterday. The thought that I haven't been striving to excel in my walk with God sickens me. After all, in Revelation 3:15-16, the Bible says "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." I have become lukewarm this year and that isn't what I want. 
Luckily for me, I am subject to the Grace of God. I can never be separated from His love...

^"28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:28-39

In response to this, I want to live a life of excellence. Striving to be on fire in my relationship with God. For this reason...
" I will dare to live with purpose and passion. 
I will dare to live with excellence and commitment.
I will do the very best to be the best ME I can be.
I will ahve the courage to be one of the few!"
-Joyce Meyer 

Powerful with a Purpose

Here I am... 1:30 AM, unable to sleep... Back in September, I had a night just like this one. It was my first night away from home and I was afraid of what I had gotten myself into, moving to Saskatoon for university. Tonight, however, I am afraid of leaving all of this. My heart aches for all of the goodbyes that are sure to come in the following morning. But as I allow these tears to roll down my face, I take a moment to look back on the year. I look at where I am now and where I was in September. Flipping through my journal, I find one of the very first entries from here in Saskatoon...

"Who am I going to be? God, I have a choice. I live in a secular world now. How am I going to portray myself? More importantly, how will I portray you? I want to be a woman of God. A woman who shows the fruits of the spirit to everyone around her. I want to be the one who people see you in. But, I also feel the human need to be accepted and that is going to pull me onto the wide path. God, only you can transform. Only you can give the fruit of the spirit. Come and fill me God. I know that you have me here for a reason, you placed me at Sheps. So I need to trust that you will continue to open doors. To place people in my life with whom I can share your light. God, help me to be different, to stand up for what I know is right."(September 6, 2012)

I'm not perfect. I've screwed up this year, and I will be the first to admit that. I have no regrets though.This has been a year in which God uprooted me fully from every familiar thing and placed me in an alien setting. I have been a missionary, called to love those God has placed in my life. And let me tell you, I wouldn't trade it for the world. As I look back at that September 6th entry, I realize that God gave me everything I asked for. He delivered and I cannot complain in anyway about that. I have been so blessed, and as I leave this place for the next four months, I am sad but I know that God isn't done with me yet.

So here I am; Powerful with a Purpose. Lord, send me.

Laying it all at His Feet

It's that time of the semester... Finals seems to have creeped up on me and brought with it the different stresses and anxieties of life. I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends the other day about how God asks us to cast all of our anxieties and cares upon Him. Ok, I can do that right? I mean, who wouldn't want to give up all of their problems to someone who could handle them better than we can ourselves? Well, I was reminded in this conversation that God doesn't just want our problems. He wants us to give up those things we grasp so tightly to... Whether that be our family, our friends, our jobs, or anything that we have gained over the years. That includes our own dreams and hopes as well. Many people, me included, tend to hold these things so close to us because we are afraid that if we give them to God, He will take them away. I believe that this is not God's plan. If the thing we grasped so tightly wasn't good for us, then yes, He probably would take it away, putting us in a better position than we were before. But if this thing was good, I believe that He will take it and mold into something greater. After all, God can do so much more with something than we could ever even imagine ourselves doing! So, although it is a scary concept, giving up those situations and people that are so dear to my heart, I am making a point during this finals season and continuing into the future to place all of my cares, hopes, loves, and dreams at the feet of my Creator, with the intent of allowing him to make me and my life into something even greater than already is.

The Waiting Game

This week has been a week of waiting. Waiting for the sun to come out, waiting for a huge life altering exam on Saturday, and most importantly, waiting for God's voice to become clear on a number of things. It has been a week of trying to find moments of peace and calm where I could sit and reflect. Today, as I have begun to recognize God's hand in specific areas of my life, I am so thankful that I have a God who wants control of my life. I returned to a passage which I hadn't read in a very long time, Jeremiah 29:11-14.

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.

As I sit and let this truth wash over me, I find that place of peace. God is always speaking to me, his voice always there. When I ask, he will answer in some way. So as I wait again this upcoming week, I know that I can wait in the peace that comes with the understanding that I have an all powerful God who has control of my life. He will open and close doors as I wait for him.

Spring Cleaning: Both Inside and Out.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
-Psalm 51:10

Despite the massive amounts of snow piled up outside of my residence, SPRING HAS SPRUNG! Yes, this is a cause for celebration... It is also a cause to pull out the vaccuum and clear out the dust that settled in all those hidden corners during the cold months of winter. As I was doing some rearranging in  my room this morning, I realized that I need to do some Spring cleaning in my spiritual life as well. University life doesn't make it easy to keep priorities straight... I've messed up big this year with friendships, time management, and most importantly, my relationship with God. As I look at my previous blog posts, I see a girl who was so on fire for her Creator. She wanted to share it with the world. Everyday she would search for new ways that God was speaking to her. Now, those areas have gathered dust and it's time that I cleaned them out and let them shine again. :)

Psalm 5:10 is a plea from David, asking God to completely renew him. I don't know about you, but I could certainly use some renewing these days. This is why, as of today, I am asking God to help me with my spring cleaning. I'll handle the physical cleaning of my room, but I know that I am going to need his assistance in cleaning up my relationship with Him. Luckily for me, God is merciful. He doesn't look at the mistakes I have made these past 7 months; rather He looks at the fact that I am coming to Him with the knowledge that I need Him to make me whole again. 

So as we all embark on this new season, take a moment to think about the areas in your life that you have let get filled with dust and cobwebs. Guaranteed, you have at least one place. Make it a spring goal to clean that area out with the help of your Creator! Spring is a time for new beginnings, so what better time to find a new beginning for yourself!

The Power of Music...

This week as I've read through Joshua, I have felt God speak to me in many ways other then through His word. Yes, I have been touched by many of the verses but that is not what I feel lead to write about today. Instead, I feel that I need to reflect on a song that came on my ipod while I was reading a few days ago. Music is my connector to God. He speaks to me on so many different levels through various artists and songs allowing me to become so emotionally and spiritually involved in Him. Bellarive has quickly become one of my absolute favourite Christian bands. They lead the worship times at Youth Quake, a conference that I attended in February, and their songs have God's presence weaved right through each word and line. The song that really stuck out to me though as I read through Joshua was a song called Tendons(The Release). It reflected what was occuring in my heart at that moment and as I listened, I felt a prayer coming from my soul to God my Creator. It was spectacular, a feeling that is very hard to describe! So I am giving you the second half of the lyrics to ponder over and I pray that they will touch you the same way that they touched me.

Tendons(The Release)
By Bellarive
....
If the Titanic was made to sink
Then so was my heart
For I made sure it was impenetrable
Oh, what a wretched man I am
Who will save me from this flesh
Paul whispers in my ear,
“Oh, don’t worry my friend …
You’re in good company”
Poets before me have tried
to measure this love
And if 40,000 brothers cannot
with all of their quantity of love
make up this sum
Then how can my heart contain this mass
It would only burst at the seams into
a million tender pieces
So what then
What good is a broken heart to You
Could you even hear my heart from there
And like a father assuring his son
to come home
“Oh my son, it’s enough, it’s enough”
So who am I to accept this grace
that just falls like rain
‘Cause we all know I chose to lay
my head in this desert
But like a fish out of water
We only know then what it means
to be parched
So if Christ is alive, the love,
and the groom
Then take heed my friends
For chivalry is not dead
For I know no other lover who would
have met me here in this place
So I awake and I rise from my bed
of complacency
Oh, my God I’ve been sleeping
with a corpse
Oh, and these bed sores they still
rest in my bones
Oh, how I’ve made a beautiful dance
with this cadaver but my audience
is appalled
Oh, how strong these tendons
How they desperately need to rip
from this ancient Adam
So light up the sky and
Set me a flame
Burn this bone and tissue
For I no longer want to be
entangled in this sinew
That hinders my reach towards You.
<3
 

And the Challenge Reveals Itself...

Reading through Leviticus and Numbers has been a challenge for me as it isn't the type of stuff that I read very often. I'll admit, I skimmed through alot of Leviticus, and for Numbers, I listened to it on my ipod while I was packing. It gave me a new perspective to hear someone else reading God's Word outloud to me. Unfortunately, I was easily distracted and I had to go back and reread some of the chapters.
Anyways, I got a glimpse of how this 90 Day Challenge is indeed a challenge. God's Word doesn't always become personal the first time (or the second time) that you read it. I realize now that for scripture to really hit home, I need to be focusing on it more in depth and with a deep longing to learn and be changed. This is one area that I am excited to grow in throughout this Challenge.
Another thing that became clear to me today during church is that knowledge is not wisdom. The things that God is teaching me through this Challenge mean NOTHING to me unless I am able to apply in my everyday life. I got the chance to see this in action today even as I was learning it through the message at church. Just saying a simple "yes" to God when He asks me to do something is a huge step in the right direction on the pathway of wisdom. So as I sit here writing this, I am thankful for all of the second chances that God has given me when I have said "no" to him. As I reflect on God's Word, I am also going to begin praying that God will give me the oppertunities to apply each thing that He teaches me to some aspect in life. I have an feeling that this is just the beginning of an incredible journey which God is going to take me on, as well as any other person who has a willing heart to be a servant for Christ. :)